That my friends, is the Mens Wearhouse Guarantee, and I have no idea why it exists.  I coined the phrase “The Mens Wearhouse guarantee”….I mean they made up the saying, but I turned that phrase into a simple, sarcastic, and mocking way to emphasize how much of a sure bet something really is. 

So you know when I say  “you’ll enjoy my gatherment of words on this blog”, is the equivalent of the Mens Wearhouse guarantee…..well….you are guaranteed nothing, because it is a worthless phrase.  How about that?!

On a more serious note………..Does anyone else have a  problem with The Mens Wearhouse slogan? 

I have a HUGE F’n problem with it. I mean what that heck is the significance of this statement?  Seriously ( <-now you know the serious part is coming), who in the crap buys a friggin suit and then says “man….I totally look like a POS in this bad boy…I wish they guaranteed I would like this suit…you know the one I picked out for MYSELF and voluntarily purchased…..oh wait….I am an IDIOT”?  

I know the first thing I do when I make my gameplan to shop for some sweet new apparel is think to myself “gee  I wonder if this shop will guarantee that I have half a brain, and can actually pick out an item that I find aesthetically appealing?”  I do not require a guarantee in this matter.  This just in….if I don’t like it, I won’t buy it…or is that just too simple…

I want to rip my ears off and tear my eyes out and throw them in a fit of surrender.  Are you happy?  I no longer even desire to possess the ability to hear or see the second this commercial infects my television.  The mere thought of it sends me into an uncontrollable/helpless,  Charlton Heston on his knees, fist pounding the sand, staring at the head of the Statue of Liberty yelling “Damn You” tail spin of…RAGE!

Actually I just change the channel…..well double actually I don’t even have cable…. but whatever…I really enjoy exaggerating….and  I like adjectives.

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